the truth about my feelings

I haven't been here for a while... I think at least. 

My feeling for time is not really existing here. I have been here for over a month now but I can't say if it felt like a long month or a short month... It's like time is gone. I'm experiencing the same everyday and I think that is what's making me sad and makes me feel a bit disappointed and also uncomfortable. 

Yes you hear right. I've been here for only a month and I'm feeling unhappy. I know that it's only a phase but I'm mad at myself that I don't really enjoy it here... I mean, it's my big dream that I'm living but I've always expected it to be different. Everything is different than you expect it and I knew that before, but realizing it is hard. And know that I'm in this mood I'm comparing everything here to my life in Germany and only see the negative things even though I know that it's wrong. I'd like to be able to look back to my time in Argentina and just thinking of it will make me smile, but I can't help it right now! So I'm trying to process all my feelings by thinking a lot which isn't improving my situation. But please don't give me any advise... Nobody knows how I feel, I don't even know but I have to go through this alone so I can be proud of myself later and grow through this experience... This is what an exchange is about, isn't it?

And don't think I'm totally depressed, I'm not but I think everybody complains more than tells about the good things.

I really wish I could tell you something about my life here but like I said, it's like I'm living the same day over and over again and at the moment I'm not really a creative person, but as soon as I'm motivated and have an idea I will write a new post.

Talk to you soon,

Cara

♥